damn S.W.I.NE

What I want to know

Questions I have for one of the doctors treating a swine flu patient in the hospital where I work.

I think I will e-mail him/her these questions as there is less chance of infection of swine flu

How worried should I be ?

If I have not been abroad or been in contact with any one who has been abroad 

How many Confirmed cases have there been in the UK ? 

How many worldwide ? 

Of these cases how many were fatalities

Who is most venerable from this virus ?

Where am I most likely to come into contact with this virus

Train, Bus, Public places toilets ect, door handles, light switches, stair rails ?

What is the best way of protecting myself from getting this virus

tissue, face mask, anti bacterial hand wash, wearing rubber gloves ?

public awareness campagns

Whilst researching public awareness campagns I came across a French company called Securite Routiere

Translation : In town, car accidents dont just happen to cars

Translation: Monsters drive unlicensed cabs I mean You dont know who your unliscensed cabbie is he could be a Monster

Noooooo not Miss Piggy...... Take me instead

MISS PIGGY 

R.I.P

Miss Piggy of the Muppets was the first fictional character known to have contracted Swine Flu. She contracted the illness after visiting relatives between the 1980 and 1981 seasons of “The Muppet Show”.

She is known to have infected Kermit the Frog, her physician Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, puppeteer Frank Oz, and Yoda (via Frank Oz).

When Yoda died in Return of the Jedi, it was after a long battle with Swine Flu. Miss Piggy is therefore singlehandedly responsible for the loss of thousands of years of Jedi wisdom from the years of the Old Republic

.

An infection that appears to have lain dormant since the early 1980s appears to have claimed beloved icon Kermit the Frog.

The Aporkalypse

There is a blog specially dedicated to misinformation about swine flu it is very good

swinepocalypse.com/

here are jus some of the images on there

Coughs & Sneezes spread Diseases

This is the leaflet cover & also ad for swine flu 

More swine flu adverts

Swine flu just aint Kosher

NHS advises DIAL 999

After researching online there are two main sources of information on swine flu one being the government www.direct.gov.uk

The other being the NHS www.NHS.uk

The NHS site was very interesting as it had its own diagnosis system if you thought you have the symptoms

It works by asking you a series of questions. When I tried this test the questions went somthing like this:

In the last 7 days have you:

• visited a country considered at high risk for swine flu, [help]
• been in close contact with someone known to have swine flu, or [help]
• been in close contact with someone suspected of having swine flu? [help]
• None of the above

  

After answering none of the above

The next section was

Do any of the following apply to you?

• I have pain in or across the centre of my chest (see further information)
• I have pain in my shoulder, arm or jaw
• I am severely short of breath and I can't talk in full sentences
• I have swelling around my lips, mouth, tongue or throat
• My lips, fingernails or toenails are changing colour

Please Note: We have further information to help you answer this question

After answering yes

Call 999

Your answers suggest you need to dial 999 immediately and ask for an ambulance.